October 2015 Blog Archives
October 30, 2015
Talk about being someone else!
My son the redhead is going to be Fred from Scooby Do for Halloween. That means blonde hair and no freckles. I said, "What if no one knows who you are?" And he said, "Mom! That's the whole point!" Oh how I love Halloween and especially for that very reason. You get to try on someone else, walk in their shoes, and give your own self a rest for the night. I can't wait to see how many people have to ponder who he is!
Every Halloween as a child, I was always a witch. I would consider other costumes, but that black cape and hat got me every time. Plus you got a broom that might fly and everyone knows witches have magic. What's not to love? My best friend would be an old man and he was really good at it. He would scare people all night long with his lumbering ways and cane. It was always fun and the perfect way to celebrate this crisp time of year. And don't forget the candy swapping later.....
I hope you enjoy this weekend and get really good candy - you know the calories don't count on Halloween. Right? Scare up some wonderful memories and if you see a witch flying by on a broom? Just know she is having a blast! Happy Halloween!
October 29, 2015
I was given an extraordinary gift.....
A sculptor friend made an amulet for me that fits in the palm of my hand. It is exquisite and with very little effort, you can see Mother Mary in it. I saw a picture of it, but when I received it in the mail I was simply awestruck at how 'made just for me' it really is. It is clearly sacred and invokes such peace that I can hardly wrap my brain around the true 'gift' of it.
Instantly, I thought that I needed one for everyone I know and possibly for everyone I may know in the future! Such is the measure of Spirit it brings. And quickly I understood why people take exhibits on the road so they can be seen and enjoyed by more and more people. I can't wait to take this to my other healer friends and have them hold it. I bet it has much to give.
I am thankful for this blessing and I intend to use it for peace, kindness, education, and as the gift it so clearly is. When is the last time you got a gift from the other side?
October 28, 2015
Ever wish you knew what you didn't know?
Sometimes I do and then sometimes, I just love being naive. As an intuitive, I often know things that others aren't aware of yet. But every now and then I come upon something I really wish I knew more about. I can research of course, but that does not always hold the answer. Usually life just has to be allowed to happen for things to unravel.
I struggle too with how much should anyone actually know anyway? For instance, if you are excited about taking a job and you are going to lose it in a year, would you still do it? Even if that was a valuable learning experience? A client came to me and said she had finally found someone she thought she could really love, but he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She wondered, "Should she just walk away now?" And when I replied, "And miss a true chance at a great love?" The whole decision took on a different possibility....
I find my self wanting to know more when I can see harm or frustration coming to someone I love. If I knew more, I could save them the anguish or conflict. But then again, I would be getting in the way of their life lessons.......
So I am going to assume I know what I need to know, at least for today. And I am going to trust that Spirit will keep me posted on new developments. And I am going to love deeply and without restraint in the meantime to fill in all the blanks. Fingers crossed....
October 27, 2015
"They are all Jesus in disguise."
I've often thought about this quote from Mother Teresa. It happened to me one time. I was sitting in the middle of a long row in a packed airplane. I had a magazine I intended to read cover to cover, when an elderly man sitting next to me began to ask me about life. His wife was recently diagnosed with cancer and he was pondering the repercussions of living without her. He told me highlights about his life and what he knew for sure as a result of his time here. He was wonderfully articulate, insightful, and taught me things I have never forgotten.
As we were landing, he said he wasn't sure he could get to where he needed to go. I assured him I would help in any way possible. Getting off the plane, I hugged him and thanked him for the wonderful conversation. He said, "But you didn't get to read your magazine!" I assured him that it did not matter. My husband saw us and I turned around to introduce him to my husband, but he was gone. And despite my efforts to find him, he just vanished......
Years later when I was reading about Mother Teresa, I couldn't help wondering if he was Jesus in disguise. Certainly he was an angel. What if that is true? What if spirit takes form to teach us, comfort us, and cherish us? How would we treat them if we knew? Would it matter? I believe they do and I believe it does.....
October 26, 2015
One act of bravery........
We have a new baby brown squirrel in our back yard and apparently he didn't get the 'no human interaction' memo. He comes right up on our back deck and over to the sliding glass doors and looks in as if he is hoping someone will be home and come out to play with him. We have a friendly and very playful tabby cat, whose name is Crush. He is all about going outside to play with this squirrel. Which leaves a dilemma for the humans.....
So I found a neutral place to sit in the back yard and Crush came out to explore and chase chipmunks. No squirrel was in sight. He has caught a chipmunk or two, even brought one in the house, but doesn't harm them, just plays. He was stalking one such chipmunk when he was completely sideswiped by the squirrel, who took off running and the chase began. The squirrel was much faster, so no worries there, and it was hilarious! The squirrel seemed to believe the whole point of the game was to run over the back of Crush without being caught. He managed it at least twice.....
Friends in another life? Cat/squirrel intel we as humans are not privy to? Hope for the animal kingdom? Or just the right place, at the right time and a yard full of fall leaves? Either way it was the very definition of serendipity.
I hope serendipity comes knocking on your door this fall, too. And if it does? Lay down the rules and just go with it......
October 23, 2015
Another year crazier.......
I have always loved that son by Paul Simon, 'Still Crazy After All These Years'. Every time I have a birthday, I check to see if it is still so and I am happy to report that this year, it is. My favorite verse is the last, "Now I sit by my window and I watch the cars. I fear I'll do some damage one fine day. But I would not be convicted by a jury of my peers, still crazy after all these years. Oh! Still crazy. Still crazy. Still crazy after all these years." My best friend from kindergarten says it is still so and he knows.
The other song I listen to on my birthday is by James Taylor, "The Secret 'O Life". These are my favorite life lyrics:
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
Any fool can do it , there ain't nothing to it.
Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill......
But since we're on our way down, we might as well enjoy the ride.....
The secret of love is in opening up your heart.
It's okay to feel afraid, but don't let that stand in your way.
Cause everyone knows that love is the only road.
And since we're only here for a while, might as well show some style.
Give us a smile.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down,
Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
Now the thing about time is that time isn't really real.
It's all in your point of view, how does it feel for you in there?
Einstein said he could never understand it all.
Planets spinning through space, the smile upon your face, welcome to the human race.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Oh my now....
I'll be sliding down and gliding down.
Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
Isn't it a lovely ride?
Sliding down, gliding down,
Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
Now, the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time........
Still crazy and with some sensible perspective. That's how I intend to grow older........ Happy Birthday to me!
October 22, 2015
It just doesn't take a whole lot to delight me according to my son. I'm not a garage saler on a regular basis, but if the timing is right and I pass one that looks like fun, I stop and check it out. Today, it was the homemade bird houses that caught my eye and even though my son groaned and threatened not to get out of the car, I had to shop. Of course I bought one and received some valuable advice about where to hang it and what to expect, all for $7! What a deal!
One of my other favorite places to go is a second hand shop in Batesville, Indiana. It's clean, interesting and I always find something I can't live without for not a lot of money. My latest 'find' was 25 cents for Halloween cards (5 for a dollar!). I bought a whole lot of them and had a blast sending them to all my friends in support of my favorite holiday. A lot of fun and love, not a lot of money......
Someone asked me if that sort of thing was my 'guilty pleasure'. They said everyone has one. Honestly? I thought the answer was Oreos, but I guess I could reconsider. And do I only get one? Because I am quite sure that won't be enough, even though so far there is no guilt about the bird house. In fact, I'd love to have another one......
For it to be a 'gulity pleasure', I have to feel guilt and pleasure, right? What a conundrum! Let me think.... Yep! I'm staying with double stuff Oreos. For now.....
October 21, 2015
List making really does help.....
A lot of my clients know I am a huge fan of making lists. Not just any old list, but serious ones about your strengths, who you are looking for in a companion, why you married someone, why they married you, and especially about your fears. We make most of our decisions based on our fears - that's a real important list!
Often, we just mull things around in our heads and think we are actually working them out, but until you really know where you are starting from, it's difficult to make progress. When you make a list and really put down things that are true, you begin to take shape in a whole new way and you begin to see what really matters to you, who you really are.
Girls make lists beginning about 6 years old about who they are going to marry, what the names of their children will be, and what kind of flowers they are going to carry in their wedding. Guys don't think much about those things until they get right down to the wire....... Getting a guy to make a list is not always an easy task, but I have never seen it fail to help them see life more clearly.
If you are struggling with a problem, make a list. Stick with the 3 things that matter the most: What scares you about it, what bothers you most about it, what do you want to accomplish, and why is it important. Come out of it making an informed decision, based on all the facts. You won't always get it right, but you will find it easier to learn life lessons from it. Good luck!
October 20, 2015
Pity parties are tedious.........
I just read a book about a remarkable woman, who only ever allowed herself 15 minutes for a pity party and a really good cry, then she just got up brushed herself off and got back in the game. She said her mother would actually bring out a timer when she was growing up and she always thought her mother was crazy, but in fact, that method got her through quite a lot of life. I can see the wisdom, although there have been times when I needed at least 30 minutes......
I never have had friends or family who allowed me to have much of a pity party. The worst one, at least over a guy, was in college and I cried a whole lot over that. I remember my mother making me comfort food and telling me it would be okay over and over. In retrospect I feel sorry for her! The comfort food certainly helped, but I didn't buy the 'okay' thing until much later. I contacted that guy some 30+ years later through Facebook and figured out Mom was right. He admitted he had some 'crosses to bear', but it was clear that difficult ending was exactly what should have happened so it could be truly over. And frankly? He hadn't learned much in all those years since.......
I had a pity party when I got robbed recently and again when I got a traffic ticket, although I had to admit that was my own stupidity and everybody knows you can't have a pity party long over that! I did eat some Oreos though.....
Pity parties are a true test of friendship, because it's difficult to hang around someone who is so miserable! That's why 15 minutes makes sense..... So if you feel one coming on, take my advice and get out the timer!
October 19, 2015
What is your source of strength?
Everywhere I turn lately I see the word strength - so I believe it needs addressing. I have various sources of strength: Friends, Family, Water, Music, and a walk in the woods seem to be most effective. Often I can see someone else doing what I consider to be the unthinkable and it is a source of strength for me.
If you aren't aware of where your strength comes from, take a few minutes and think about it. And while you are at it, when are you strongest? Before, during or after a crisis? I can come through with strength, but there will be a moment when I 'recover' after it is all over. I've thought about it and I prefer that method - at least for me so far.
Whatever brings strength to your door, I hope you cultivate a steady stream of it. At the risk of sounding like my grandparents, "This is not an easy place to live and thrive." So if we are going to make the most of it, let's incorporate strength.
October 16, 2015
Of course I went to these in high school and at church growing up. You never know who you will see and get to reconnect with. It was always the promise of a good time........
This year I am a tuba roadie mom, a spectator at the parade and the football game show, and a girl with no one to homecoming with. I didn't grow up here or have any roots in the area, so instead I am a behind the scenes person just watching people. Which, by the way, I love to do!
But I can't help missing those people I would love to see. Some I grew up with, family, just remarkable people I was lucky enough to know. I am sure there are those in this crowd, too.
If you are coming home to somewhere these falls weekends, take an extra moment to stop in and visit someone who matters to you, get a hug, catch a smile, and bask a little about where you have been. You really do matter and someone is waiting for you to come home! Have a great fall weekend!
October 15, 2015
So I met this man wearing a bowtie at the deli counter.......
He was dashing and I complimented him on his look. Turns out he makes bowties as a business! Who knew? Guess I never even thought about that. My son wears bowties and so I began to dream up the perfect gift.
Ta-da! A tuba themed bowtie with a formal touch or two. It's awesome and comes in it's own little box with a note about how it was specially made. He loves it! And perhaps at his next competition, it will be the extra magic musicians seek. Either way, it's been fun.
I love it when unexpected great things happen. Fun things, like a bowtie at the deli counter. Here's hoping you include these in your life, too..... It adds a touch of spice to life and brings on the smiles......
October 14, 2015
The suspense is aging me.......
So my birthday is this month. That means I have to, at some point, do the math. Even if I am not liking it so much these days..... I know people who say, "It's better than the alternative!" And I agree with that, but a smaller number would still be preferable.
Are there expectations with another birthday? Should I be wiser? Now should I know what I want to be when I grow up? 'Cause....... Ummmmmmm....... I may need another year. How about I just go for grateful that I am here doing the things I love and with the people I love? That's my strategy and it's doable, because I really do feel that way.
I celebrated another someone special to me last week. She braves the birthday thing before me and I so appreciate it. She sets the tone for the next year for us and much like the groundhog predicting winter, she predicts an awesome year ahead! She is rarely wrong, so I'm going with it. Here's to many, many more!
October 13, 2015
There is a lot to learn from geese.......
Here in Michigan, a great part of fall and spring is the migration of the geese. They have a definite destination and it's a journey they are serious about. The format they use is interesting to watch and perhaps my favorite part is who is leading the 'V'. Yesterday I was watching geese land on a lake and was delighted to see one particular goose trying to lead, even though the others were having none of it. Every time, he would peal off reminiscent of the Blue Angels and have to go his own way. And at least for the time I was watching him, he never gave up.
People do the same thing. Look up the word catalyst. They simply can't help themselves and thank God for them! They are the pot stirrers, the big idea people, the Henry Fords, the Wright Brothers and they change the world every single day.
But what about those who are not catalysts? Well we need them, too. Because sometimes, the catalyst is misguided or so new they just don't know the ropes quite yet. So there is the planned landing and the catalyst has to peal off in a different direction. I love that 'give and take' that is as old as time or at least as old as geese!
If you listen to them fly over at least one of them is honking. I was close to a little boy and his family at the park. He had a sister. His mother asked in passing, "Can you tell which one is doing all the honking?" And without missing a beat, he replied, "It's probably the girl one!" Which is a whole other prospective on geese.......
October 12, 2015
What is the sum of your parts?
Let's say you have a illness that needs to be managed throughout your life - like a heart condition - and you have to pay attention to it, prepare for it, expect others around you to live with it. If you draw a circle that represents you, how would you portion out how much of that circle is the heart problem? What are the parts of you and where do they stop and start?
Take that same circle and put in work, love, kids, fun, etc. What do the parts really look like? Whatever the outcome, that is how other people see you and form their expectations about you. So are you showing the world who you really are? Or even who you wish to be?
It's a fair question.
Give it some thought. Form that picture of yourself - for yourself - and be objective....... Do you like that person? Would you like to get to know that person? What are your expectations of that person? Because let's face it - if you are taking that person out into the world, you should at least know what you are working with.
October 9, 2015
I wish I knew them better.......
Ever meet someone and think, wow! I wish I had the time to get to know them better? What if you could assemble people around you that were only those kinds of people? And do you think you are spot on about people when you first meet them? So after you get to know them you would still really like or dislike them?
Someone recently told me that based on their religious beliefs, they had to like everyone they meet and find something about them that is positive. That's a tall order! I don't think I could do that, but then I don't limit myself to meeting only certain people either. She went on to say that because of that belief, she was very careful about who she met. (There's irony in that!) Well, I guess so! Imagine the pressure of having to like everyone you meet! Mostly it is easy to find something positive, especially if you are really looking, but she was mighty weary of the task and rightly so.
Do you ever think that in an effort to be positive, we give ourselves too much to deal with? You meet who you meet and you sort it out best you can. Some work out some don't. Some last forever and really matter, some only a brief encounter is quite enough.
This weekend, find someone you really like and celebrate fall colors, harvest, a nip in the air or just the fact that you like them. Take off the pressure and put on the fun! And if you run into someone who doesn't really fit your idea of okay? Smile and wave on your way back to someone who does. No pressure for you..........not this weekend!
October 8, 2015
Sometime when you have nothing else to do.........(yeah right!)
Sit down and go over the things you have done. You will be amazed! Our culture is constantly telling us to do something great, get out there and shine, be amazing! But you don't often hear someone say, "Wow! Look at what you have done already!"
I got the opportunity to look at all the writing I have done and all the places it has gone and it was so much fun to know I had done things already. Some could have been better, but some I am really proud of..... That's okay, you know, to be proud of something you have done. It was an opportunity to remind myself that I am capable of more and in a different way. It gave me a real interesting look at myself and that's always a good thing.
Take a moment or two and think about what you have accomplished in this lifetime so far. Chances are you will see someone you like!
October 7, 2015
Well, she's just.....my mom.......
Kids are interviewing adults to talk about careers this time of year in high school. Someone was looking for a writer to interview. It seems that no one knew anyone. But then my son remembered that I could write, but wait! She's just my mom.......
I have loved my writing 'career', when it didn't pay, when it was for fun, when it made a difference, and when it did pay. I think it stems from my overwhelming curiousity about every single thing. I was born that way and thankfully it has never left me. I particularly loved writing a feature human interest article for the newspaper. I met all kinds of people from NASA engineers, to secret service for the president. I also met a marvelous man who restored old John Deere kid tractors and a lady who raised minature horses. I took a ride in a hot air balloon, dressed up as The Cat In The Hat, and tried my hand at riding a bull. All because I love to write and other people enjoyed reading it.
There was controversy to be sure - I wrote an article about why Halloween is important and it brought out all the people who didn't approve of the holiday. But it also brought some lovely letters from people who appreciated the opinion. I wrote a wrenching article about 9-11 and it won an award, but it didn't lessen the pain or suffering about the event. I wrote about having no dad on Father's Day and how I compensated for it. I know that article was healing, because so many people told me. One lady just a year ago said she still has the article on her refrigerator! Imagine that.
Over the years, I've written all kinds of things and will continue to. Maybe I'm the consumate secretary, maybe I'm the other person on your shoulder, or maybe I'm just the person who is just as unsure about life as you are, but I always have a voice with my words. We all have God given talents, it's how we use them that matters. I will probably ask for a pen and paper so I can write my obit! I wonder if they have a newsletter in heaven?
Who knows? Maybe I can hold my own in an interview!
October 6. 2015
It's okay to be passionate about......
Your job. Today I met someone who got it right! Even after almost 20 years, she confessed she still can't wait to get up and go to work. I don't know many people who feel that way....... Her secrets to success? She didn't choose it for money. She didn't choose it because her parents were pressuring her. She didn't choose it because it fit into her lifestyle. She chose it because, in her words, "It just made my heart sing!" That's pretty impressive.
Does she have bad days? She does. But they are fatigue driven, 12-14 hour days, not attributable to the actual work. Would she change anything about her profession? Yes. She would have more of it. Does she recommend it to others? Every chance she gets!
She is a high school band director! Did you guess that? Have you ever thought about doing that? She loves the challenges it presents, the Aha! moments for the kids and the music......always the music! She says simply, "It never gets old."
So today I celebrated someone who in this world of chaos and uncertainty just got it right. I honor that and I aspire to it. And honestly? I'm so glad she's in charge of the music!
October 5, 2015
What a difference a day makes.......
It's really true. We worked all day Saturday at a fundraiser and the money raised will benefit kids in the music program. That's a measurable difference! The kids had a great time at a carnival and along with about 60 other parents, we worked hard to make it happen.
I have friends who just completed a 5k run for breast cancer and the funds they raised made a difference in the local chapter of the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Still another group were outside the grocery store for senior food drive awareness, so the Meals on Wheels can keep rolling and they could gather volunteers....... The list goes on and on.
We do live in a world where benevolence matters. Last night a friend came to our house for dinner. His wife is dying from cancer. He told us all how the many facets of the kindness of others had made an amazing difference in their lives. And he knows he will continue to need those people in the coming year......
Often it is hard to put yourself out there and help or give. But rest assured that those moments you volunteer out of your own life changes the life of others every single time and in ways you can only imagine. It is a measure of the best in us and a sure way to touch God.
October 2, 2015
The power of a mantra......
I discovered how to use a mantra much later in life and I wish I had known sooner! I get a little squeamish about some things and I learned to go to Disney World in my head, or simply repeat the words 'Disney World' over and over in my head, to change my minds reaction. It really works!
I have a mantra I use in life, "I Am Happy, I Am Healthy, I Am Loved. Thank You God. Amen." When my brain is going over a conversation, running way too fast worrying, or stress is bothering me, I simply say the mantra over and over in my head or out loud and it calms the whole process down. Often, I am not exactly happy, but I say it anyway and expect things to change. It may sound like a simple thing, but it isn't. Our brains take their cues from us and if we don't give them anything, they go to a default position, doing what they know based on the past. If we give out new instructions, they will follow them. When we continue to repeat that process, our brains learn a whole new default to go to. And who doesn't want to be happy, healthy and loved?
Try out my mantra or make up one of your own, but think about retraining your brain to work for you in a positive way. It can and does make an appreciable difference. Enjoy this fall weather with no worries bouncing around in your head - it's worth a try!
October 1, 2015
'Don't grow up.......
It's a trap!' That's the sign I put up in my sons room after stressing out about how quickly time is flying by.... He begged to differ with me:
"You have to get a job."
"You get to drive a car!"
"You have to pay bills."
"You can travel all over the world."
"You have to follow a whole lot of rules."
"You get to vote."
"You have to attend boring meetings."
"Hey, I'm in school and do that every day in class!"
"You'll have a boss and you will have to do what he or she says, even if you don't want to."
"I'll just lay low like I do when you want me to dry dishes or mow the lawn."
"You have to come home and visit your parents often!"
"Of course I do, I'm going to need clean laundry!"
I still say it's a trap, but if he's coming home with laundry, I'll stick around to see if I can get a hug or two.